Bob Schneider Lyrics

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Easy on Your Bones
Eating My Skin for Food
Electricmagneticlovethingexperience
Electrocuted by the sun
Everybody's Darling
Everybody's Fucking Everybody
Everything You Know is Wrong
Evil
Eyeball Radiation

Easy on Your Bones

By Bob Schneider

So you're helpless and alone
And you’re easy on your bones
And you’re waiting for a friend
And the party's at an end

And no one has saved the day
And your life is in the way
And you don't know where you're going
And you don't know what worth's knowin

And you feel like empty space
And you're heavy in the face
And your hearts an open sore
And you can't take anymore

And you're ready to retire
And you can't get any higher
And you're freaking on your shit
So you take another hit

And you're tied up in the corner
And you feel it getting warmer
And you just can't get to sleep
And your skin begins to creep

And you want to say goodbye
And you’re so afraid to die
And it's just another night
And nothing ever feels quite right

And you're helpless and alone
And you're easy on your bones

Eating My Skin for Food

Lyrics by Bob Schneider

She never speaks her mind
She just lays it down in pages
She only tells the truth
When no ones listening
The answers to her prayers
Are the keys to all the cages
Where her fears are locked & waiting
They’re red eyed & waiting & glistening

And I’m
Eating my skin for food
I’m saving my breath for you
I’m living my life
For no good reason
I’m not breathing

She never drinks too much
‘cause you can never drink enough
She only slips a little
But only when she’s falling
The sparkle in her eyes
Is like the lightning in the night
There’s a flash of light
Then you’re left in the dark
And it usually starts to rain

And I’m
Eating my skin for food
I’m saving my breath for you
I’m living my life
For no good reason
I’m not breathing

She’s easy to please
But not pleased easily repeatedly
& easily squeezed repeatedly unpleasingly
But not squeezeteased unpleasingly easily unrepeatingly
Meaninglessly squeamishly greasily
Nonpeacefully

Electricmagneticlovethingexperience

Slippin in your silky skin can we do it once again what's your fantasy
Your soft embrace your aftertaste we ain't got no time to waste tell me what you need
Cause you can tie me up or tie me down on your bed or on the ground
When we come up for air don't be scared I’ll run my fingers through your hair
This electric magnetic love thing experience
Aaah aaah aaah
Might drop you to your knees
It won't do what you please

Baby when you hold me tight I just might make it through this night
Well I can't be your father child but try and I might drive you wild
I've been trapped inside your cherry tree
Ever since you put your spell on me
This electric magnetic love thing experience
Aaah aaah aaah
Might drop you to your knees
It won't do what you please

Pull my trigger scratch my back cause when you do it just like that it makes me wanna scream
I shiver when you shake my rattle I love it when I’m in your saddle it feels like a dream
This electric magnetic love thing experience
It's a love thing experience
It's a love thing experience
It's a love thing experience
Aaah aaah aaah
Might drop you to your knees
It won't do what you please

Electrocuted by the Sun

I got electrocuted by the sun
Two hundred million & forty one
Volts went straight into my brain
Don't think I’ll ever be the same again

I jumped up and turned around
My feet still haven't touched the ground
Since you talked to me
Since you walked with me

I got turned all inside out
Now I’m green as a whippertailed brussel sprout
I'm as a crazy as a twisted old apple tree
I'm as happy as a seven year college degree

I got messed up in the head
I still haven't been to bed
Since you flew my kite
Since you held me tight

I got stepped on hard by love
I never saw it coming cause it came from above
Like a big old monster in a monster movie
But instead of being scary it was kinda groovy

I always wear my heart there on my sleeve
But I got mangled like you wouldn't believe
It got knocked right off into the street
Got eaten by a thousand pound sugar beet

I fell so hard that I feel so high
If I got any lower I could touch the sky
Since you flew my kite
Since you held me tight

Everybody's Darling

By Bob Schneider

Your fruity behaviors quite unbecoming
Of a lady so sexy and awfully stunning
You're likely to get what you've never deserved
Uncover the treasure and strengthen your nerve
And nothing will ever be the same
You're head tripping down demagio lane

You're there in the headlights
Your gown's always sparkling
The life of the party
Everybody's darling
A smile like a hijack
You're close to the truth
Your covered in charm and
Cheap gin and vermouth
And its all just a game
Just the same
You're everybody's darling

Your easy as cold cash your powers are baffling
When you're in a good mood everyone's laughing
When you're in a tizzy the rain never slows down
You unravel the cliche what goes around comes round
Your wrapped up in sweet tarts you're the queen of the city
You're never outdated your excuses aren't pretty

You've corrupted the angels with your little excursions
You're right on the money you love your perversions
You make it look easy when you climb on the tightrope
And you take off your night gown and take all the right dope
You're down on your knees and up to your chest
With the lies you exhale and the wine you ingest

Everybody's Fucking Everybody

Music & lyrics by Bob Schneider

Angie's fucking David and David’s fucking Joe
And Joe’s fucking everybody and nobody knows
And Lisa and Linda are fucking Reggie and tom
But tom went to the clinic and they dropped the bomb
And Lonnie fucking Angel who's just thirteen
But lohnie doesn't care if you know what I mean
And Michael’s with Maxine whose sometimes with Ron
And everybody's fucking my best friend's mom

And everybody's fucking everybody's fucking everybody
Everybody's fucking everybody's fucking everybody

And Leslie’s fucking Adam
When she gets the chance
And I’ve got a whole lot
Of love in my pants
And who was fucking Mary
Cause she was fucking Leroy brown
Who was fucking every hooker
That that motherfucker found
And Larry got the crabs
But he didn't get the clap
But Virginia’s in the clinic
For a mandatory pap
And Sean’s fucking patty
Who's on everybody's dick
And she's a real nice girl
But her minds a little sick
And Dan’s fucking Sarah
Who was fucking Teddy Willis
Who was sucking off the landlord
So she didn't have to pay her bills
And Stanley works the corner
And his in a lot of pain
But his fucking every john he can
To buy his heroin
And your wife'll fuck the postman
And she will not give a damn
If you’re out busting your ass
Trying to bring home the ham
And disease and moral fortitude
They will not stem the tide
And you cannot keep your daughter home
Forever though you've tried
We're not plants we're animals
And instincts rule our nation
And you cannot live forever
On fantasies and masturbation
So we fuck and fornicate
Until the mother ship returns
And takes us to another world
Where passion doesn't burn

Everything You Know is Wrong

Music and lyrics by Bob Schneider

I can’t feel a thing tonight
The air I breathe is angel white
The songs I sing are locked up tight
Inside the sun again

And I can’t feel a thing inside
And everyone is open wide
And everything will be allright
At least so I'll pretend

But I can try and you can try and we can try together
To get along and ride the tide or try to change the weather
And sing a song or bake the bride or bring the whole thing down
Cause everything you know is wrong excuse me while I drown

I can’t feel a thing you know
The dress I wear is apropo
The ghost a little to damn slow
To catch my drift again

And I can’t feel a thing you see
And everyone is awful free
To do the things they want to be
At least so I'll pretend

But I can try and you can try and we can try together
To get along and ride the tide or try to change the weather
So bang the drum or beat the gong and we can dance the whole night long
Cause everything you know is wrong excuse me while drown

I can’t feel a thing tonight
The fear inside is locked down tight
And though I try with all my might
They hold me back again

And I can’t feel a thing its true
And even though I smile at you
Can’t stand the things you say or do
At least so I'll pretend

But you’ll get high and I'll get high and we’ll get high together
And work it out and jump and shout or try to change the weather
Freak the funk and gank the geek and dance the whole night long
Cause everything you know is wrong excuse me while I drown

Cause everything you know is wrong so kiss the sun and wear a tong
And we can sing a happy song and try to live forever

Evil

Lyrics by Bob Schneider

I got the evil on me
I got the evil in me too
I got and evil little woman
Do exactly what she want to

I eat an evil little dinner
In an evil little room
I eat up every little bite
With an evil little spoon
My mother was pure evil
My daddy was too
I got an evil little woman
Does exactly what she want to do

Now if evil was a cancer
I’d be a dead man for sure
I’ve got the evil in my bones
That kind of evil can’t be cured
I’ve got evil all around me
I got the evil in me too
I got an evil little woman
Do exactly what she want to do

I do an evil little dance
I sing an evil little song
And it’s so god damn evil
It lasts all weekend long
I got the evil on my hair cream
I got the evil in me too
I got an evil little woman
Do exactly what she want to do

I spent a million evil dollars
On my evil honeymoon
Now I’ve got an evil little baby
In an evil little womb
I’ve got the evil when I wake up
I got the evil when the day is through
I got an evil little woman
Do exactly what she want to do

Eyeball Radiation

Shake that booty baby on the floor
Shake that booty like you never shook it before
Shake that booty up all into the night
Well you wanna do it if it feel all right

I know you wanna do it baby all night long
I know you wanna do it cause it can't be wrong
I know you wanna do it any way we can
I know you wanna do it with this superman

I know you wanna do it cause it feels so good
I know you wanna do it cause I know you would
I know you wanna do it if you only could
You wanna little piece of this Hollywood

You wanna a little bit it ain't speculation
You wanna little bit of this excitation
You wanna little bit of this new sensation
Cause your knockin me out eyeball radiation

Cause I be putting the king in the king kong
And I be putting the cream in your ding dong
I be putting your ass on the dance floor
You be riding my jock till your saddle sore

Baby I’m the man I went to college
Sure I dicked around but I got the knowledge
I know when its time to take a study break
I know when its time to shake and bake

I know when its time for me to rock the house
I know when it's time for me to get the fuck out
Baby I can do it yea you know I can
Cause everybody sayin yea he's the man

I'm the man with the big brass nuts
We the band with deep dope cuts
We bring the beat we bring the bomb
You live at home with your big fat mom

I know you wanna do it if it feels all right
I know you wanna do it if its outta sight
I know you wanna do it cause we make it tight
If it feels allright we can do it all night

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